You gotta love the Southern Poverty Law Center (www.splcenter.org). Acting through their ambitiously named Intelligence Project, the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) goes around the country identifying “hate groups” which are defined by just about any group that the Southern Poverty Law Center doesn't like.

Playing fast and loose with the facts, the SPLC's Intelligence Project lists a variety of groups that are summarily classified (by the SPLC, of course). Ever full of self-importance, the SPLC's Intelligence Project forwards their bald accusations to law enforcement agencies around the country, slandering all with whom they disagree.

Founded in 1981, the SPLC's Intelligence Project notes that hate groups in the United States number 888 (which, if you subtract 222 equals 666!). By the SPLC's Intelligence Project's own description the number of hate groups has grown at a rate of 48% since the year 2000. In other words, the SPLC is not only ridiculous, they are incompetent too.

Among the many hate groups declared to be so by the omniscient SPLC's Intelligence Project are Roman Catholics who participate in the Latin Mass. So the largest Christian denomination in the world is a “hate group” for what, you ask? The answer is, for a prayer in the Good Friday services that includes a request for Divine Intervention in the conversion of the Jewish people to Christianity. Nothing says “hate” quite like “I want to spend eternity in heaven with you.”

A newcomer to the list is Kris Kobach, attorney at law. Mr. Kobach is a law professor at that well known front for hate in the Midwest, the University of Missouri at Kansas City, where he has taught constitutional and immigration law since 2003. Before that he was a top immigration lawyer for another hate group, The Department of Justice. Mr. Kobach is nationally heralded as an expert on matters of immigration law. As such he is called upon by various governmental entities around the country to consult on the drafting and enforcement of immigration laws and ordinances.

For plying his trade, Mr. Kobach has been branded a “nativist.”  Don't know what a “nativist” is? Well, neither does anyone else. One of the favorite tactics of The Southern Poverty Law Center is to make up a word, use it as a pejorative, then ascribe its origin to the target of their hate. According to one report on the Intelligence Project, Mr. Kobach “has contributed mightily to the darkening skies of an already harsh political and social climate, with the tone of the national debate on immigration growing nastier by the day.” I wonder what the Intelligence Project means by “darkening skies” and “nastier?”

If we read on with the Intelligence Report's “findings,” we learn the real source of the Southern Poverty Law Center's dismay: Mr. Kobach ran for Congress in 2004; was elected Chairman of the Kansas Republican Party in 2007; and – this takes the cake – he's a “Christian fundamentalist.”

The Southern Poverty Law Center continues to marginalize itself by using the adjective “hate” in front of every individual and group that they, well, hate. And I am nothing if not helpful. In an effort to assist the SPLC in its race toward irrelevance, I want to sign up for a hate group of my own.

As the President of the Contra Fegato alla Veneziana Society, I proudly proclaim our agenda of ridding the country of this menace. Fegato alla Veneziana has no place in a civilized society and I call on my brothers and sisters to rise up and to drive this scourge from our shores. So when you see this organization make the next edition of the Southern Poverty Law Center's list of hate groups, remember that you heard it here first. So all those who hate – and I mean HATE - Fegato alla Veneziana unite!