Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. On March 7, high-earning Instagram influencer and mom of four, Paige Connell, otherwise known to her audience as @sheisapaigeturner, looked into the camera and admitted to hundreds of thousands of her Instagram followers that she felt disrespected and almost divorced her husband – over the dishwasher.
In her video, now viral on social media platforms, Paige claimed that she was on the precipice of filing for divorce because her husband reportedly left her son’s water bottle in the dishwasher.
Yes, you’ve not read it wrongly. Paige wanted to end her marriage with her husband because of a water bottle.
She claimed that when she saw the water bottle in the dishwasher, she felt “so disrespected and unseen and unvalued at that point in time” that she mulled divorce as an option.
The Internet immediately took sides.
Some of Paige’s female followers echoed her views, commending her for articulating their own pent-up resentment at their partner. After all, these women claimed, women seem to be doing everything at home (as well as at work if they happen to be working moms), while their husbands
The thing is, Paige’s husband sounded like a decent guy, as she herself acknowledged.
“He’s incredibly supportive, he’s loyal, he’s kind, he’s a great dad,” Paige declared.
But yet for Paige, being “supportive”, “loyal”, “kind” and “a great dad” wasn’t enough to make her feel “seen” for the “work” she already put in to maintain a full-time job (as a social media influencer working from home and raking in lots of money), as well as run a household (mind you, Paige has a nanny to look after her kids during her work hours).
I don’t plan to dismiss the enormous amount of effort women (as wives and as mothers) put into keeping their households functioning. Nonetheless, what makes Paige’s rant contentious was that she apparently chose such a lifestyle (to be a full-time social media influencer discussing women in modern marriages and the “unequal division of labor” at home).
Paige’s husband’s crime? Well, he supposedly forgot to empty the dishwasher in the mornings (a household task he agreed to do and did for a period of time), making his wife “incredibly frustrated” and “burnt out”.
Moreover, Paige claimed that when women have kids, they tend to “carry a disproportionate amount of work in the home”, making it unfair.
“Every single thing in our home happens because I asked him to do it or because I did it myself or because I planned and organized it,” Paige went on in her rant.
On the other end of the spectrum, some netizens did not spare the rod when it came to criticizing Paige’s video.
“This video adds to the problem, causing all the women who watch this to start nit picking their husbands so you can make a buck. No different to the rest of the propaganda that’s pushed for the ‘modern woman’ no wonder divorce rates are higher than ever,” an Instagram user called just_sheer proclaimed.
“Gosh! women you’re insufferable. your husband is doing everything there is to be done and you’re still taking things for granted. your husband is a lineman working his ass off the whole day and you’re working from home being a product mommy keeping score who is putting how many diapers in drawers. I admire the patience your husband has for being married to someone like you. I am happy you figure it out but don’t take it wrongly the amount of effort you’re doing to change your husband maybe the twice more than that you need to do on yourself otherwise you will keep finding unnecessarily problem in your marriage which wouldn’t even exist in the first,” another Instagram user called rrishimishra lambasted.
Before I proceed, I don’t plan to dismiss the enormous amount of effort women (as wives and as mothers) put into keeping their households functioning. While I’m not a mother (yet), I have worked as a live-in babysitter for young moms and have seen for myself the huge amount of sweat and tears involved in raising little human beings.
Hours of sleepless nights taking care of crying babies, getting up in the wee hours of the morning to prepare breakfast for their husbands and kids, making sure their kids are all dressed up for school, making the house spick and span, etc. Wash, rinse, and repeat. The cycle goes on, day by day. (Kudos to all these wives and mothers out there (both stay-at-home and working), for their painstaking devotion to their families.)
Nonetheless, what makes Paige’s rant contentious was that she apparently chose such a lifestyle (to be a full-time social media influencer discussing women in modern marriages and the “unequal division of labor” at home). She also hired a nanny to look after her kids while she promotes her products to thousands of her Internet followers.
Notably, Paige, who is also an abortion activist, claimed in another video that the “unequal division of labor” at home after couples had children was a key reason why many women were not having more children.
Notably, Paige, who is also an abortion activist, claimed in another video that the “unequal division of labor” at home after couples had children was a key reason why many women were not having more children.
Furthermore, the mom influencer conceded that she does not do her husband’s laundry – nor does she cook for him. (After all, it’s all about “equity” in relationships, right?)
One netizen highlighted:
“If you’re this stressed with a nanny and a remote job, maybe the problem isn’t him—it’s the expectations you’re trying to meet.”
Growing up in urbanized Singapore, an Anglicized country (a former British colony) with an increasing number of leftist activist organizations like this one, I was exposed to various media narratives about the “gender gap in household chores” and “gender equality” in the context of marriages.
Sadly, many Singapore women who bought into such feminist propaganda regarding the “oppressive patriarchy” and the “need” to achieve “gender equality” in life and in work did not seem to be happy or fulfilled in their marriages.
I know of real-life stories of Singapore women who left their husbands because they wanted to pursue their careers – and somehow decided (after marrying their men) that they didn’t want to take care of the house and have kids.
I have personally overheard one woman yell at her husband, threatening to divorce him for supposedly “not doing enough around the household” (sounds familiar, Paige?).
I also met a lady who told me that she broke up with her boyfriend because his income could not finance her desired lifestyle in the long haul (after future kids and expenses into consideration). What did this lady want? Well, it was to dine at a new cafe/restaurant every weekend around Singapore (and beyond).
Some of these feminist women also complained that there were not many good men around.
My response? Facepalm.
True, there ARE men who behave like irresponsible jerks, who lead a hedonistic, promiscuous and unaccountable lifestyle – fuelled by the addictive poison that is pornography.
But there ARE also many men who are striving to lead a virtuous lifestyle according to God’s commandments – I’ve met some of these respectable men myself. What is more, as a priest once hilariously (but accurately told me), decent Catholic men are “not the Immaculate Conception” and thus will have flaws, including perhaps, forgetting to take out a water bottle from a dishwasher.
Rather than being calculative, exercising gratitude for what one’s partner has done is a far less toxic approach to relationships, than nitpicking on what one’s partner didn’t do (for example, forgetting to sweep away a couple of loose hairs or so on the ground).
Happily married friends tell me that keeping score in marriage is a recipe for heartbreak. Besides, the Catholic notion of marriage does not promise married life to be always “a bed of roses”, years of Instagram couple selfies, and expensive dinner dates.
Certainly, honest and open communication to clarify misunderstandings or pent-up resentment is a must in any healthy relationship. Both husbands and wives should be treated with respect and understanding. Nonetheless, splitting hairs over matters like where to put the television set in the living room or who would take the trash out is simply not worth it.
While I’m not married myself yet, my happily married friends tell me that keeping score in marriage is a recipe for heartbreak. Besides, the Catholic notion of marriage does not promise married life to be always “a bed of roses”, years of Instagram couple selfies, and expensive dinner dates.
Rather, couples who “die to themselves daily” (including sometimes doing more around the house when one’s spouse is busy, sick, or just exhausted), tend to be those who emerge happier and stronger in their relationships in the end.
What then, about the forbidden “D” word (i.e. “divorce”) that Paige brought up in her video?
In an article on Evie magazine, writer Carmen Schober had this to say regarding Paige’s controversial views:
“Divorce doesn’t redistribute chores more equally. It multiplies them. If your husband forgetting the trash is driving you to the brink, just wait until you’re the only adult in the house every single day. The truth is, if you break up your family over uneven domestic labor, you don’t end up with a perfectly balanced new life. You end up with all the chores, all the emotional labor, and zero backup. No one else is putting the kids to bed when you’re tired. No one else is swapping off during the morning madness. No one else is catching the mental load when your brain finally crashes. You are not just “leaving the dishwasher undone”—you are stepping into single parenthood. And that’s not a minor lifestyle change. That’s a complete family fracture. And let’s talk about the real fallout: the kids. Because while you may be spiraling over the water bottle, they’re about to spiral over two Christmases, a new school drop-off schedule, and the emotional gut-punch of watching Mom and Dad split. Children don’t benefit from a ‘more equal’ home if it comes at the cost of security, unity, and their sense of belonging.”
Hear that, Paige?
