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Thursday, August 12, 2021

NEWS ROUNDUP: The Two-Minute Drill

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NEWS ROUNDUP: The Two-Minute Drill

As the summer sunrise gets later and the sunset earlier, the observations from the berm have been multiplying.  Let this edition of Maresca’s two-minute drill catch you up. 

While cranking along on two wheels, it has become obvious that if you drive alone wearing a mask, the Biden-Harris bumper sticker is unnecessary. 

Going back to school after a summer vacation was never easy, but this year the biggest challenge may be convincing the teachers’ union to return.  In retrospect, closing schools is likelier to stop the spread of the evil twins of socialism and communism than the spread of COVID.

COVID did not disappear after the election, but Hunter Biden’s laptop sure did.

Dr. Fauci said if you wear two swimsuits you may continue to pee in your pool.

 

The Biden administration wants COVID vaccinations and face masks unless, of course, you crossed the border illegally.  If this president was serious about COVID, he would protect the border.

We need to be liberated from the fear-fueled decision-making that has dominated the pandemic response.

Dr. Fauci said if you wear two swimsuits you may continue to pee in your pool.

Twitter banned Donald Trump for “incitement of violence,” yet Cuba’s dictator still has a Twitter account despite reports of protesters missing and presumed dead.  

Jeff Bezos paid millions to venture into space, while Joe Biden seemingly resides there.

If the Jan. 6 Committee is one thing, it is the Democrat Party’s kickoff campaign for the 2022 Midterm elections.  What happened in Washington was NFL in scope: a match-up between the Patriots versus Stealers.  Provided the protestors learned anything – to win the next election – get those mail in ballots ready.

When strategizing for the recent G-7 Summit, each time one of his staff mentioned G-7, President Biden hollered, “Bingo.” 

Jeff Bezos paid millions to venture into space, while Joe Biden seemingly resides there. Bezos claims to be retiring from Amazon and will have a golden parachute of a retirement.  Chuck Stroup says Bezos’ retirement package will be delivered slightly damaged and three doors away in an oversized box. 

At the border, one Venezuelan claimed his was fleeing socialism for the United States, proving once again there is always someone who never gets the message.

There should be a “Millennial Survivor” show in which contenders are forced to go a weekend without being offended by a statue, a mascot or a syrup bottle.

Have you ever noticed that the two angriest people on TV are named Whoopi and Joy?

There should be a “Millennial Survivor” show in which contenders are forced to go a weekend without being offended by a statue, a mascot or a syrup bottle.

There is no better way to indoctrinate children with LGBTQ ideology, than through Tony the Tiger and other cereal box icons, children’s television shows, and sports teams.

The problem with any Middle East negotiations is that the Israelis want to negotiate under Judaic Law, Muslims under Islamic Law, and the Biden Administration under Murphy’s Law.

How soon before our schools are teaching that the difference between Yams and Sweet Potatoes is systemic racism?

Since Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez broke up, Lopez is just two rings away from equaling Tom Brady.

New evidence suggests that Critical Race Theory escaped from a classroom in Bucknell’s Humanities Department. 

Why does the Biden Administration insist that pro-lifers pay for abortions and violate their conscience?

A toxicologist said that George Floyd had enough Fentanyl in his system to kill three grown men, or two Stacey Abrams.

“The Dixie Chicks” dropped Dixie from their name in order not to offend with the reference to the Confederacy and will now be known as “The Chicks” and only offend feminists.

New evidence suggests that Critical Race Theory escaped from a classroom in Bucknell’s Humanities Department. 

Forty percent of college students do not believe in free speech and the other 60% believe the federal government should pay for it.

Happy birthday to Malibu Barbie who turned 50, and her accessories now include Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s brokerage account and 401k. 

More have been arrested in Canada this year for going to a church to pray than for burning one down. 

It doesn’t get any more pathetic than that which serves to underscore how as a society we are in desperate need of a vaccination against what Pope St. John Paul II called, The Culture of Death. 

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Last modified on Thursday, August 12, 2021
Greg Maresca | Remnant Columnist

Maresca writes from Northumberland County, Pennsylvania.