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Wednesday, January 1, 2020

HELL HAS OPEN BORDERS: 2019’s Rearview Awards

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HELL HAS OPEN BORDERS: 2019’s Rearview Awards

As the days shorten and 2019 draws to a close bringing with it another decade, the time for the annual Rearview Awards is upon us.   

Statistic of the year: According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the American birthrate is below replacement and for the first time ever, the number of dogs surpassed the number of children under eighteen.  The U.S. has 90 million dogs and 73 million children.

2020’s Wakeup call:  Social Security’s yearly expenses are expected to exceed its income in 2020, which will force the program to begin drawing down its trust funds.

Bumper sticker: “Heaven has a gate and strict immigration policies.  Hell has open borders.”

Puppet of the year:  Sixteen-year-old Swedish eco-warrior Greta Thunberg who declared her generation will decide the future. Her generation can’t even figure out if it’s a boy or a girl.

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Best Clinton meme: Hillary and Chelsea patiently holding out their dinner plates at Thanksgiving. While Bill Clinton carves the turkey, he assures Chelsea, “We didn’t kill the turkey, sweetheart. It committed suicide.”

Phoniest political moment:  Kamala Harris who nearly came to tears disparaging Joe Biden about her experience of being bussed to school – leaving viewers to believe she grew up destitute and struggled, which is as far from the truth as you can get.  Kamala’s mother was a scientist and her father a Stanford University professor. 

Favorite Christmas cartoon:  Hillary Clinton standing next to a Christmas tree. The caption reads: “Decorating a Christmas tree takes a lot of hard work. Ornaments are like Jeffrey Epstein. They don’t just hang themselves you know.”

Signage of the year: A sign outside a Schuylkill County tavern alerting patrons: “All Democrats Must Be Accompanied by An Adult.”

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The Left’s favorite Christmas Toy:  A “Greta on the Shelf” doll that observes every carbon sin you commit and reports you to the U.N.’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, who in turn, raises your taxes and force-feeds you tofu.

Best Chuck Stroupism:  “Any president who is impeached and then acquitted should be allowed to serve a third term.” 

Toy of the decade:  Mattel’s “Talking Muslim Doll” nobody knows what it says, because no one’s got the nerve to pull the string.

Religion of the decade: “Climatism.” Like any faith, Climatism has its own creed and eschatology.  According to Climatism’s prophets Greta Thunberg and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, society is on the clock and we only have 11 years to save civilization as we know it.

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Dud of the year:  The Wall Street Journal who has limited online comments on their articles by refusing to allow readers to comment all published material that has always promoted thoughtful dialogue and in some instances was better than the original published piece.  

Worst Book: “Anonymous.” Whoever wrote it is a self-admitted chicken who apparently still toils within the Trump administration.  A true patriot would resign and go public so their accusations could be verified. 

Miscarriage of justice:  In 2016, the Supreme Court ruled that the federal government could not force the Little Sisters of the Poor to provide contraceptives under the HHS mandate. The Court ordered the government to find a way to get contraceptives to women who want them without involving the Little Sisters.  In 2018, HHS exempted the Little Sisters and other religious organizations.  Case closed, right? Not so fast. Pennsylvania then sued the Little Sisters in 2019, claiming the federal government had no right to issue those exemptions.  To date, the lower courts have ruled against the Little Sisters.  Once again, the Little Sisters have appealed to the Supreme Court.  The Little Sisters minister to the elderly poor—people nobody else cares for.  Yet Pennsylvania is willing to fine this religious order into oblivion over contraceptives that are readily available. 

Word of the Year: “They.” America’s oldest dictionary, Merriam-Webster, announced it is now acceptable English to use the plural pronoun “they” as a gender-neutral singular pronoun: as in, “Laurence told me they doesn’t identify as male or female.” If you think changes to our collective language is no big deal, you need to re-read George Orwell’s “1984.”

Ended with a Smack: Pope kicks off the New Year by slapping a marginalized woman from the peripheries.

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Since it was such an interesting year, I will welcome 2020 further with part two next week.

Happy 2020. 

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Last modified on Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Greg Maresca | Remnant Columnist

Maresca writes from Northumberland County, Pennsylvania.