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Friday, July 24, 2015

Vatican Announces Official Synod on the Family Compendium Trilogy

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Vatican Announces Official Synod on the Family Compendium Trilogy
In an effort to make clear the documents, speeches and references that will be the sum and substance of the essence in the upcoming Synod on the Family the Vatican Communications Office in conjunction with the Vatican Public Relations Office and the Secretary of State have compiled and published a special guide to better understand the documents of the proceedings; The Official Synod on the Family Compendium Trilogy.

Specifically designed to clarify a distinct political separation of positions normally composed of conflicting views, this Vatican Compendium Trilogy (VCT) will separate the actual Synod language into three unique categories. Because the Synod on the Family will include sensitive issues which may appear to some to be non-traditional and for some others difficult to comprehend, these necessary steps needed to be taken. The Compendiums are divided and the nomenclature especially designed and defined to be easily understood, appreciated and distinct in either the Liberal, Moderate and or the Traditional Sensus Catholicus.

Not only will this VCT be the godsend to understanding the Synod on the Family but, it will revolutionize the entire philosophical understanding of Church documents both past and present.

To avoid the usual confusion, competing and often hostile attitudes which normally follow Pope Francis’ hermeneutical exegesis and intellectually advanced encyclicals, the Congregation for Vatican Linguistic Enlightenment has created a guide that will separate the significance of each individual paragraph so that it is amenable to all whatever religio/politico perspective they choose.

Accompanying the VCT will be a dictionary and chart for the readers and listeners to determine in their own language and choice of either Liberal, Moderate of Traditional values just exactly what they want to hear and believe. This way the deep richness of Pope Francis’ charismatic eloquence will not be mistaken for ambiguous cryptologic gobbledygook.

Copies of the VCT and their accompanying dictionary and chart are available in 125 different languages and can be found listed on the Vatican Gift Shop website. Electronic Apps for Smartphones and other electronic devices can be easily downloaded as well on the same website and are highly recommended as appropriate gift items for students.

It is the express hope of those who have worked so hard on this project that everyone will come to a better understanding of the new religious experience. Special thanks for their invaluable contribution goes to the International Charismatic Renewal Society for interpreting the “Tongues” portion of the project without which no one would know what was going on.

Vatican officials are saying that now anyone can believe whatever he or she wants to believe. Whenever they want to enjoy a Pope Francis written or spoken word they simply make their choice of translation via their VCT and accompanying chart and dictionary. By the simple process of following the directional chart, dictionary and choosing either Liberal, Moderate or Traditional now anyone and everyone will love whatever Pope Francis says or does. The crisis which never existed is now officially over and we can all come together because, in the end, no matter what you believe, even if you’re an atheist, it’s okay.

Coming Soon: A-CNN, The Website.  The Allium-Cepa News Network to Establishing its Own Web Presence. Please look for details in the next week or so

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James Cunningham / A-CNN Columnist

Satirical commentator and really old Catholic guy who spent most of his life reading Catholic newspapers and books while holding down a Rail Road conductor's job on Long Island.  Father of five, grandfather of ten and married to the same sweetheart for fifty+ years. Traditionally Catholic to the core.